OTTAWA – As the CRTC turns to the gargantuan task of sorting through the issues surrounding usage-based billing, at least one of its Commissioners decided to have a little fun and flex his creative muscle upon the conclusion of the hearing.
An ode to UBB, as penned by Commissioner Timothy Denton:
On Usage Based Billing
On usage-based billing, oh let’s take a stab!
Perhaps it’s no more than a revenue grab.
Capacity constraints, which we try to fix,
May be as real, as in IPv6.
Whose size is so large, so vast and so great,
Like stars in the sky, we can’t estimate.
Whatever it is, we must settle our rates,
So networks are built, and blockages go,
Investors rejoice, that signals will flow.
The Commission’s at work, deliberations profound,
To sift through the mountains of evidence we found.
If we get it wrong, our doom is foretold,
The Commission’s disgraced, its assets are sold.
If we get it right, the public’s appeased,
The carriers will groan, but the Cabinet’s pleased.
So where do we go, to solve the dilemma,
Of Internet pricing, no easy problema.
